The stats don’t lie.
- 1 in 4 U.S. women will have an abortion by the time she turns 45.
- Up to 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
- 10% of all couples experience some form of infertility.
Reproductive loss is common. Incredibly common. So why don’t we talk about it more? Because we’re uncomfortable with embodiment. With death. With grief. And so in our silence, we isolate those who are suffering in solitude.
That’s why we decided to dedicate this episode to reproductive loss: to explain what it is (it’s way more than miscarriage) and share ways to journey alongside those who are hurting. We can’t make anyone’s grief go away, but we can help someone feel less alone.
On our show, Katey shares her own definition of reproductive loss:
Reproductive loss is an inclusive term for any experience of grief in a person’s life related to their reproductive health, their fertility, the outcomes of a pregnancy, or the creation or care of their family. Reproductive loss includes experiences of miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, adoption, abortion, surrogacy, sterilization, and loss of a child.Rev. Katey Zeh, Kindreds Podcast, Episode 41. “Reproductive Loss”
We discuss the ways that the “pro-choice” movement hasn’t done a great job of supporting people through their losses, and how all of us, in our desire to help, have probably made unhelpful comments in the wake of someone’s loss. After talking with friends and colleagues, we share ideas for ways to show up for people that actually help them.
What We’re Reading and Listening To
After a heavy episode, we shift gears and talk about what’s rocking our world.
Ashley is knee-deep in her 2020 Book Riot Challenge. For her goal of reading a “book in any genre by a Native, First Nations, or Indigenous author,” she picked up Sacred Wilderness by Susan Power, a member of the Standing Rock Sioux. The synopsis is: “A Clan Mother story for the twenty-first century, Sacred Wilderness explores the lives of four women of different eras and backgrounds who come together to restore foundation to a mixed-up, mixed-blood woman—a woman who had been living the American dream, and found it a great maw of emptiness.”
Katey is dancing around her house to Kesha’s newest album High Road. If you listened to our Kindreds 2019 Year-End Celebration playlist on Spotify–which is also awesome by the way–you’ll know one of the songs on there is her track “Raising Hell,” which is wonderfully irreverent. Well, her full album is lit! The last song is called “Summer,” and has this poignant line:
“Every time I feel the spirit, I remember we were fearless.”
Kindred of the Moment: The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice (RCRC)
RCRC’s Compassionate Care for Reproductive Decisions and Loss trainings is hugely informative and powerful, especially for people who find themselves in the position to offer care to families who are making reproductive decisions or going through a loss. Participants learn how to be a supportive, non-judgmental presence for people who are making tough decisions about pregnancy.
Learn more about RCRC and our Compassionate Care program here.
Next Time on Kindreds
On our next full episode, we’ll be talking about relationships, soul mates, and singleness.